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Okay. So I've finished watching seasons two and three of Xena: Warrior Princess, and these are my thoughts.
Season Two
This show...it is getting better. @_@ In the first episode, I was like OMGWTFBBQXENA'SAMOM? And then I was like, "aaaaaww, Solan! ^_^" and then I was like "you stupid boy, run!" and then I was like, "how the hell can Xena lift that cage off the ground without anyone noticing? What the hell are the guards--who are supposed to be guarding Solan--doing?" And then the dude turning into that ugly ass centaur. And Xena struggling to tell Solan who she is and then deciding against it. :C
And then "Remember Nothing," when Xena never became a warrior but Gabrielle became a slave and "I don't know whether to thank you or hate you." "Hate me? I'm so sorry, Gabrielle." And the world is worse off without Xena the Warrior Princess, and Xena chooses Gabrielle over her brother and kills to set the world back to the way it was supposed to be.
And okay, the Bacchus episode was just a liiiiiittle bit weird. @_@ AND THEN CALLISTO IS BACK IN A FUCKING BADASS FASHION AND HOSHIT GABRIELLE'S GETTING MARRIED AND XENA IS SAD AND WTF DID THEY JUST KISS AND WHY IS XENA SAYING GOODBYE, XENA YOU SAID IT WASN'T GOODBYE YOU LIAR! Or is she saying goodbye for something else, perhaps? >.> Perhaps because Gabrielle has gotten married and is in love with someone else? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU--CALLISTO! FUCK DID CALLISTO JUST KILL PERDICUS AND OMFGLDKJFALDIFJIONCIOHOSFAF IS GABRIELLE REALLY DEMANDING THAT XENA TEACH HER HOW TO KILL ANDLFANDLFKADFNAMWEOIFNDCOV;SAJIDAWEJNO;FAEDFI CALLISTO WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO GABRIELLE??!!
Aaaaaaww, at Xena praying for Gabrielle. I "aaaaaww" because "please don't let the light that shines from her go out. I don't think I could stand the darkness that would follow." NUFF SAID.
LDJFALDFDNFIDFO;ASDJF HOLY SHIT GABRIELLE ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO KILL CALLISTO! NONONONO PUT DOWN THE SWORD AND WALK AWAY GABBY NOOOOOOOOOO! ...YEEEEESS! ATTA GIRL GABBY AND HOSHIT CALLISTO IS AWAKE RUN GABRIELLE RUN! A;LSDJFAEDFWEINFAOW;EJF FUCK!
...HOLY SHIT. DID XENA JUST LET CALLISTO DIE? X__X
Did...Did Callisto just steal Xena's body? @_@ OMG SHE DID. And now she's teaching Gabrielle to kill? And "pretending" to be Callisto. "For a moment there, I thought you really were Callisto." THAT'S BECAUSE SHE IS, RUN GABBY RUN! Wow, Callisto's actress is actually really good at playing Xena. For some reason, "Callisto" seems a bit off in this episode, but I can't pin point exactly what it is that Lucy is doing differently than Hudson. *stratches head* Oh, right, back to the episode HOSHIT THEY'VE MET, THEY'RE FIGHTING NO GABRIELLE DON'T KILL XENA! AAAAAAAAHH! OH SNAP THE DREAM THING CAME UP! GABBY KNOWS WHAT'S UP. CALLISTO CAPTURED XENA'S VILLAGE AND IS XENA STUCK IN CALLISTO'S BODY? Aaaaaww, Gabby's dreaming again. ^_^
Wow, Ares is a pansy when he's human. And, hey! Xena got her body back--juuuust in time to get her ass kicked and die. ...Wait. DIE? WHAT THE FUCK XENA NO! COME BAAAAAAAAAACK! DDD:
Wait! Yes, she is! She possessing Auto...Autocylus? Yeah, that's what we'll call him. I'm too lazy to look up proper spelling at the moment. And Gabrielle is going to burn Xena's body?! Ach, no! Oh, good, Xena saved it, and now they're talking in...Spirit Land? Sure we'll go with that. And then OMFG THEY KISSED! EHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEEEEE! *FLAILSSOHARDSHEDIESANDTHENCOMESBACKTOLIIIIIIFFFFFFE* "Autocylus, get your hand off my butt. That belongs to Xena. You don't touch Xena's things." "Oh, right, sorry. *removes hands*" THEN GETS PUNCHED IN THE FACE WITH HIS OWN POSSESSED!FIST. "See, this is why you don't touch Xena's things." XENA'S ALIVE! SHE LIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEES!
Okay, "A Day in the Life" just has waaaaaaay to many things to mention. XD I love this episode hardcore. "Why did you have to use our frying pan as a weapon?" "I like to get creative. It gets my juices flowing." "Can we cook with your juices? >:[" And smacking Gabrielle in the face with the fishes and the eel. And Gabrielle hitting Xena in the face with her staff and then immediately going "Oh crap! I'm sorry, I didn't think I'd actually hit you!" And the kite and...ALKDADKDIAWEFAWEFDLKF.
HOSHIT XENA'S BLIND! And Gabrielle's going to get fried! DDDDDDD:
"The Price." No. Words. Just. Epic. Hardcore. LOVE. ALFADKNVVIONWOFENFEJFEF WARLORD!XENA AND GABRIELLE AND "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU THAT."
Oh God. "A Comedy of Eros." Just. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA. This episode was great. XD But I feel really bad for Joxer. :( He really loves Gabrielle.
Season Three
Oh. My. God. I can't believe how EPICALLY BRILLANT Xena is even when she's going completely crazy. And then she's living the same day over and over and over again. "Maybe it's the rooster?" And then Xena whips out her chakram and kills the rooster. XD And then she kills Joxer for getting them killed the day before. And Gabrielle's all (O_______O), and then Xena tells Gabrielle and Joxer everything that happened and they just stare at her blankly, and then everyone's killing each other and Xena's completely ignoring it and doing weird calculations. The chakram toss is epic awesomesauce.
Oh. My. God. I just... Oh my God. Oh my--holy shit. Gabrielle...Gabrielle just killed so...she just killed someone...I...I...what? And she's pregnant with demon spawn? And she didn't kill it, she just sent it down river in a basket...I...
And Gabrielle just betrayed Xena and...and...I...fuck... Though, I have to say, I loved the scene in the dungeon when Gabrielle tells Xena "I kow you hate me, but no more than I hate myself" and Xena gets down off the rock she's sitting on and asks Gabrielle, "Scratch my nose, will ya?" and Gabrielle bursts into tears and scratches Xena's nose. And Xena tells her, "I was angry with you, but I never hated you." And then Xena's epic display of badassery with her (temporary) magic powers and killing the Green Dragon and telling Gabrielle she didn't....
"The Quill is Mighter..." is an awesome episode. I totally loved Gabrielle and Ares' bonding moment over Xena and now have the absurd urge to write Ares/Gabrielle BFF fanfic. And, lawl at Gabrielle not being good at writing action. "I usually use metaphors like 'Xena burst onto the scene in a blaze of glory.'" "Write that and we'll be picking her off the field in pieces." And, "Xena hit the soldier with a squid." "Really? I thought it was an octupus." "I know a squid when I see one! >:["
And then things get incredibly depressing when Hope returns and kills Solan and Gabrielle kills Hope, and Xena hates Gabrielle and Gabrielle feels so guilty. AND XENA TRYING TO KILL GABRIELLE. DD: That was so heartwrenching to watch. And then Gabrielle pushes them both over the cliff and then they end up in Illusia. OMG IS THAT CALLISTO? YES! I love that Callisto is Xena's guide. XD And guide!Joxer. OH FUCK XENA JUST KILLED GABRIELLE. And...she regrets it. That...that means their friendship could be salvaged? Well, that is if Xena hadn't just killed h--oh, good, it was only an illusion. But how are they going to fix this? :C Wait, Solan brought them here? Atta boy, Solan! :D You rock! Aaaaaaaww, Xena and Gabrielle hug and now they're splashing each other and playing in the water. ^3^ They're friends again! Yeeeeeeeesss! Although, I'm a little disappointed we never got to see the Amazons' and Joxer's reactions to Xena and Gabrielle's revival of their friendship. Especially since the last time they saw either of them, Xena was galloping off on Argo and dragging Gabrielle along behind her.
And, oh crap. I know I was saying, "Xena, get Gabrielle out of here before she gives you guys away," but the fact that Gabrielle just turned away and allowed Craccus to be murdered was just...wow.
"I hated her for loving someone else." FFFLAKDFDFKDFLDFKDFJDFJEIFJALKCNMXZLIWOEF. And Ares was the reason Gabrielle got to Chin first? I...I probably should have seen that comng.
Oh God, the talking fish! I absolutely love how they scream when Xena catches them, and the one fish that's "talking" to Joxer...er...Attis. And Gabrielle being obsessed with herself, and Xena obssessed fish. And the disappointment on Xena's face when Gabrielle says that there's only "one person for me. Me!" XD I love how Xena's still able to keep herself together enough to remember the gem they're trying to get back.
But oh crap. I want to say I can't believe Ares is going to get the Fates to kill Xena if she kills Hope, but I'm not really all that surprised, and part of me can't believe that Xena got so angry over Gabrielle stoping her from killing Hope even after she explained the situation. You know, since Xena basically said "screw the greater good" when Gabrielle was the one in danger.
Oh shit. Gabrielle. ;_; That look, you guys, that look she gives Xena just before she falls. I can't describe it, but it broke my heart. And Xena and Joxer. And Callisto getting all giddy over Gabrielle's death because of the pain it gives Xena and how Xena, whose been denying Callisto her death wish throughout the whole episode, kills her and says, "No more living for you" and fuck. Just...fuck.
